These are my brother's kids, Royce & Kyley. I don't get to see them very much because my whole family lives in Minnesota (where winters are even colder and snowier than here.) But I like being an Aunt. Kyley and I talk on the phone sometimes. And my parents and my brother keep me updated on all their fun stages. We had a great time together over Christmas. And I can't wait to spend some more time with them.
It seems like everyone I know just had a baby or is about to have one. I never really imagined myself getting to the age I am now (I won't reveal it here) without having any babies, but at the same time it's kind of hard to imagine my life with kids. Babies have been on my mind a lot lately. Sometimes I wish I had an extra decade of time. There are so many things I want to do. I'm feeling the movement of time in a way I never did before. Royce and Kyley are growing up fast. And I still think of their Dad as my "little brother."
I'm not really sure that I would be a good Mom. I'm scared about that sometimes. And I worry about how we would manage everything and what we would have to give up. We haven't really left much space for a family -- at least not until Rick finishes law school. For now I guess we wait.
It seems like everyone I know just had a baby or is about to have one. I never really imagined myself getting to the age I am now (I won't reveal it here) without having any babies, but at the same time it's kind of hard to imagine my life with kids. Babies have been on my mind a lot lately. Sometimes I wish I had an extra decade of time. There are so many things I want to do. I'm feeling the movement of time in a way I never did before. Royce and Kyley are growing up fast. And I still think of their Dad as my "little brother."
I'm not really sure that I would be a good Mom. I'm scared about that sometimes. And I worry about how we would manage everything and what we would have to give up. We haven't really left much space for a family -- at least not until Rick finishes law school. For now I guess we wait.
I've been thinking of Winnie a lot, the little girl we met in the AIDS orphanage in Kenya. I've been day dreaming about adopting a baby from Africa, reading up on the process. In some ways that idea seems to fill a void in me that's even deeper than any ticking biological clock. I wonder what Winnie and her friends are doing right now?
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