First Birthday Blessings

Micah is now a one year old. A blessed one year old. Here are some of the ways she is blessed: She has access to medical care; a 12 month well-child check with a caring doctor and vaccines to protect her from disease. She has access to good nutrition: protein, fruits, vegetables and clean, safe water. She has loving family and friends who gathered to celebrate her first year and a great church family to nurture and support her spirit. She has access to brain developing toys and books, and a clean, safe place to play. These are simple things that I often forget to stop and be thankful for. Many, many children throughout the world and even here in the US do not have access to these fundamental building blocks of a healthy life. But every child should have them. Every child could have them if we all decided together to give that as a birth day gift to the world. Imagine a world where every child had basic health care, education, nutrition, a clean safe environment, and a loving supportive community around them. Just imagine the kind of heights we could reach as a people if we could unlock the creativity and potential of all those children who are chained and broken by poverty. A new world is possible. It must be. If we can make a way to travel to the moon, than surely we can make a way to protect the early lives of our children. "Our children." Because after all, they all belong to us. If it's good enough for Micah, then I say it's good enough for every mother's child. Whether they live in Aurora Illinois or Kibera, Kenya. I spent a lot of time planning and preparing for Micah's party. I wanted to give her something special, and I think I did (though she won't remember it.) But maybe next year we'll throw a birthday party for all the children of the world and ask our guests to think about giving a gift that can do more than just bless a little girl who is already blessed. We are so grateful for all the people who came to celebrate with Micah and all the kind and thoughtful presents she received. We are blessed to be a blessing, so we're going to work hard to try to think about how we can share from our abundance. Check out this video below about one way to help children around the world with your voice.

http://one.org/us/actnow/globalfund2010/signed.html?id=1946-3056116-zpJ.tRx&t=1

Who Am I Now?

In five days my baby girl will turn one. I have spent nearly every day of the past year at home focused on her. Holding her. Feeding her. Reading to her. Watching her grow. Trying to be a good mom. Practicing my new identity. Giving up much of my former self and stretching my little heart into something new...something she calls "Mama." I am "Mama" now. And sometimes I go days without ever hearing my old name. Mostly that's ok. But there are parts of the old Desiree that I miss. Parts that are so much harder to cultivate now than they were before my baby was born. A year after becoming a mom I am still wondering, "Who am I now?" Do I still have something to contribute to the world? Can I still be a part of the movement for justice? Can I give more than everything Micah needs from me?

Motherhood is tricky. I know what the research says about how critical these first three years are in the development of her little brain. I want to pour myself into her. I want to give her everything I can. I want to read to her every day and take her to the children's museum and the nature center and the library. Her world is my world. She is everything to me. She has sucked me in heart and soul. But sometimes my singular focus on Micah makes me forget that there are other little ones out there in the world. Hungry little ones. Sick little ones. Neglected little ones. When I stop to think of them I wonder how I can possibly make time for them on top of what I'm trying to give to Micah.

I feel the tension. Part of me wants to keep trying to be a force to change the world, but a big part of me wants to just drop out of the world completely and focus all my energy and attention on Micah. To put everything else on hold until I can at least get her through preschool. In some ways I feel like I've already dropped out of the world. Or at least that Micah has become the world to me. I've spent hours thinking about how to make her birthday party special. But no time thinking about all the other kids around the world turning one next week. The old Desiree had a deeper sense of burden for those other kids. In some ways becoming a mother has deepened my compassion for others and in other ways becoming a mother has limited my ability or willingness to act on that compassion.

How can I hold tight to Micah and hold tight to the Micah 6:8 life at the same time? Sometimes I don't feel like I have enough space in me to do both. This blog used to be called, "Remembering Kibera" because it was focused on remembering my friends who live difficult lives in the largest slum in Africa called, Kibera. I still think about Kibera all the time. But I wonder what impact I will be able to have on Kibera and places like it now that Micah is my world.

I want to love my baby girl with every ounce of my power and I want the best possible start for her. As I'm sure all the mothers of the little girls turning one next week in Kibera do too.

Check out this link!

Check out this link about Kibera and other slums around the world.

http://www.theplaceswelive.com/

A Summer Without Africa

For the past three years Rick and I have had the blessing of spending 3-4 weeks of the summer in Africa. But this year Rick will be taking his bar exam in late July, so because of that and some other circumstances we will not be able to continue our tradition this summer. I am, however, still sending a team of North Central students to Kenya. I've begun working on a tentative schedule for them and the thought of not participating in the days I'm planning is a little heart breaking. I'm feeling sad and disappointed, not because Africa needs me, but because I need Africa. It has been one of the places where I experience Jesus most intensely and sincerely. I hope that these new life circumstances are only a break from and not an end to our opportunities to travel there. I am so very grateful for all the African people I know and for all they have taught and continue to teach me. Even though I will be home in Illinois this summer, a part of my heart will always be in Africa.

Winter at Bryan House

The kids at Bryan House have found ways to enjoy their very first winter in America. This is a picture of Rick throwing snowballs at eleven year old Nahom. They also built a snowman for the first time, but they gave-up quickly on shoveling the sidewalk, ramp, and driveway to earn a little extra money. Too cold : ) They sometimes wear their coats and hats inside. But it's still hard to get them to wear socks and real shoes instead of sandals.

Now that it's February, I am getting winter weary. I'm ready for the sunshine to melt the snow. Except that there's a little problem with the roof at Bryan House in some places and melting snow means leaking water. Unfortunately you can't fix the roof while the snow is still there, so some leaking this spring is probably unavoidable. Ah the joys of owning a one hundred year old building! I don't know whether to hope for early spring for the sake of my state of mind or to hope for a long freeze for the sake of not dealing with any extra weeks of drippy ceilings and filling buckets. We did have someone shovel part of the roof. But it is probably not done snowing yet.

OBAMA!

Celebrating the New Year

Here's a picture from the New Years Celebration at our house. We had guests from Congo, Togo, and Rwanda. It was a fun night (even though we did the early New York countdown.) Everyone likes to get their picture taken with Obama. : )